Lunar Adventures: exploring a little bit of everything

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You guys think I’m pretty, right? RIGHT?

Attention pretty people in Dallas! (You know who you are, don’t be shy!)

My buddy Tim Rogers, an editor at D Magazine, posted to the D Magazine blog about his attempt to qualify for the invite list to a beautiful-people-only club. I’m not at all ashamed to admit in public that Tim, despite his numerous flaws, is not a bad looking guy. He’s even pretty athletic. Astoundingly, he was rejected.

Now, rather than calling it a “beautiful-people-only club”, it might be fitting to call it a “shallow morons only” club. But that would mean I’d be calling myself a shallow moron, because I am certain that they are going to let me in, as soon as I can find enough flattering photos of myself. I might have to Photoshop away a little bit of extraness around my tummy, and maybe Photoshop in some more muscle, but that’s beside the point. I wonder how pissed off they’d be if I showed up at a party and they realized I had Photoshopped my application pictures. It’d be pretty hypocrtical of them — after all, tons of magazines (Maxim, FHM, Playboy, etc.) Photoshop their models — so why not average Dallasites?

I’m actually pretty curious about this. I wonder if there are hidden requirements to entry, like, no fewer than 2 botox injections, but no more than three sessions with the breast augmentation surgeon. Or maybe there’s a height requirement. Those always get me. You can be pretty and still be short, dangit!

I encourage all of you guys to try to get in — I’m sure that among us, at least one of us must be pretty enough to qualify. And then you can report to the rest of us, while we sit and home alone on a Friday night because we’re just not durned purty enough. Maybe we can make our own exclusive little club, and have a treehouse fort and everything! My only request is we not make some requirement on height or smarts — I’d hate to feel left out.

Fri January 6th, 2006 5:06 pm

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