Lunar Adventures: exploring a little bit of everything

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Lunar Adventures public service: Helping you find what you were Googling for (maybe)

I regularly peruse my server statistics to see how many people are visiting, see how you guys found this place, check what articles were the read most, etc.  One of the things I look at is search queries — what you put into Google or Yahoo or MSN or whatever that brought you here.  And let me tell you: some of you people search for some weird things. 

But not only that, it looks like you sometimes are looking for something that you just won’t find good information on at this site.  Really, you won’t find much good information here regardless, but that’s neither here nor there.  At any rate, I kind of feel guilty when people end up here when they’re looking for something else.  So I will try to right the wrong by taking some of this week’s search queries and trying to point you in the right direction.

• “maverick roller coaster” — During the Mavericks 2005 playoff run (which ended in the second round against Phoenix), I was frustrated by their up and down performance. I try to stay pretty well connected to the Mavericks, and I haven’t heard anything about there being the potential for an actual roller coaster ride. But the fact that 9 people Googled for this (or one person Googled 9 times) leads me to believe that there’s a definite market demand for a Mavericks roller coaster ride at Six Flags or Disneyland or something.  I can picture it now — you ride around in a little car named JET, and exit from Dirk Nowitzki’s tongue-extended mouth. And why stop at a roller coaster?  There could be an entire Mavericks amusement park.  We could have a house of horrors, featuring NBA referees and Shaquille O’Neal shooting free throws.  Maybe even show video of Avery Johnson racking Josh Howard on a loop.  There could be a big tower shaped like Shawn Bradley that you parachute down from.  A big bouncy tent shaped like Erick Dampier, just because.  I know I’d visit.
• “paul mokeski” — Paul Mokeski has been popular this week.   I mentioned his scouting the Phoenix Suns in passing during a post about the Mavericks/Suns series this year.  I did a little research about Mr. Mokeski on Wikipedia, which reports that Bill Simmons, ESPN.com Page 2 columnist, sometimes refers to him as the least athletic man to ever play in the NBA.  Bill Simmons has one of the most-read articles in the world, I’ve concluded, since almost every male I know reads him — even non-sports fans.  I’ll theorize that his name is surfacing as people research the Bill Simmons name-drop.
• “stitches in tongue” – Last year, I reported that I had bitten off a chunk of my tongue while playing basketball.  Not good times.  This is one of the more popular google search queries for my site — I’m the #3 site on Google when you search for “stitches in tongue”!  I’m going to put that on my resume, for sure. At any rate, I suspect a lot of people that are visiting are either 1) weird or 2) dealing with a similar injury.  If you have a similar injury, I recommend seeing a doctor if you think it’s serious.  That sucker bled a lot, and swallowing blood is never a good thing.  It also made eating difficult, and the next day it hurt so much it was radiating pain into my head.  I ended up not needing stitches, and the tongue healed remarkably quickly and fully — I was back to normal in a week (with a weirdly shaped tongue).  Today, there’s no sign of me ever having had bitten some of it off.  Good work, tongue!  But still, see a doctor.  You might need stitches or some medication, especially if it becomes infected or something.  Why take a chance? Colgate has some good information on tongue injuries if you do have such a thing happen. But I recommend avoiding tongue injuries.
• “nba finals rigged” — I think there’s a trend — a lot of my popular hits are coming from basketball-related searches.  At any rate, I’ve thought about this a lot.  And I do not think the NBA Finals were rigged.  I just think the referees were pitiful.  Not dishonest, but pitiful. The theory that the Finals were rigged isn’t an unheard of one, though. Here’s one that talks about the Finals being rigged both from fan and player perspectives.

I hope this helps some of you.  It probably won’t, but you can’t say I didn’t try.  Let me know if you’d like to become a regular feature.  And also, I do plan on doing another Q&AK Questions and Answers session — so send me questions or post them here, if you have any.  Unless you’re already an oracle of knowledge yourself, in which case say so here or in email so I can ask you questions.  Specifically about women — they confuse me.

Wed August 9th, 2006 10:17 pm

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