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Why Deal or No Deal is annoying

I’m not sure why, but I’ve found my TV tuned to Deal or No Deal a couple of times of late, despite the fact that I find the show annoying on a number of levels.  I guess there’s something entertaining or amusing about watching people gamble away serious amounts of money in the hopes of making insane amounts of money, often knowingly in the face of mathematical odds.

Surprisingly, I don’t find Howie Mendel that annoying.  He plays up the drama a bit, but what do you expect?  He’s normally not over the top, and he’s not smarmified like Regis Philbin or douchetastic like Simon Cowell.  Other than the distracting glare off his bald dome, I have no complaints about Howie.  But I do have complaints:

• The contestants are kind of annoying.  They talk and dance and stuff way too much.  I guess it’s a trend Who Wants to Be a Millionaire started — the whole “talking through your thought process” thing.  Just say what you’re thinking — “Man, I’m probably about to lose a ton of guaranteed money, most of which will be taken away by taxes anyway, on the off chance of winning $500,000, when instead I’ll probably end up walking home with $1.25, $0.98 of which the government will take.  But on the bright side, I am getting my 15 minutes of fame.  Most of which I’m spending being annoyingly smarmy and pretending to be buddy-buddy with Howie Mendel.”  If it were me, I’d march up to that stage, pick my numbers, and be on and off in 15 minutes including commercials — and that’s if I went deep into the game.
• What’s up with the guests?  One episode I saw, they brought out a strangely normal-looking Hanson, all growed up.  While I did find their a capella version of “MM Bop” oddly compelling, what’s the point of bringing them out?  Was Lance Bass not available?  The contestent seemed unphased by the one-hit-wonders behind her, and was even soliciting their advice on what to do.  Call me crazy, but I’m not sure I want my financial advice coming from Hanson.  The second night I watched, they had some not-funny comedian on that I didn’t recognize.  I’m not sure what his role was, other than to tell the contestant they were getting him into Last Comic Standing (maybe this guy is the host of the show?  could be) because he had a dream of being a stand up comic.  Kind of a cool touch, but they should have just told him without stopping down for a guest appearance.  I’d have been, like, “Guys, seriously, just let me pick my suitcases so I can win some cash.”
• The models are annoying.  Apparently, they’re hoping that if, when the contestant calls out their number, it’s an opportunity to show off their entire acting range in the hopes of getting “that really big break, bigger than standing with a suitcase on Deal or No Deal.  Now they even all have to say something after they open the suitcaes and peek in.  It always goes the same way — smiles, glee, slow opening of the suitcase, peeking it, going poker faced, then showing the dollar amount, followed by either such a level of excitement you’d think THEY had won the money inside, or a little frowny face and shrug of shoulders that says, “Hey, you may not have won $750,000 but at least you picked the number of the hottest girl on stage and not one of these other girls who aren’t nearly as pretty as me!”  If I were the producers of the show, I’d tell them to just open the case.  All those theatrics are valuable time they could be using to showcase the karaoke talents of the contestant.  Which they actually do.  But really, odds are the models aren’t about to discovered.  They’re not going to get a phone call that’s like, “Whoa!  I saw the way you opened that suitcase, and the way you went from happy to kind of pouty when the suitcase had a large dollar amount was amazing!  Would you like to star opposite Tom Hanks in his next major motion picture and receive millions of dollars?”  I mean, come on — you’re sharing a stage with Hanson!  You just watched a live performance of “Mm Bop” and it’s 2007!  Egads.
• Too many cuts to the friends/advisors/family of the contestants, who are invariably screaming “no deal!”.  Of COURSE they’re going to tell you to say “No deal” — it’s not their money! (Unless it’s the wife/husband.  But even they usually say “No deal!”)  Generally speaking, they’re going to want a cut, and for their cut to be any good, you have to go all the way.  Standard agent cut of 3%, assuming a winnings of $20,000, which turns into $9,000 after taxes or something,  is $270.  They spent that the night before at the hotel bar trying to impress one of the models.

That having been said, get me on the show.  I’d be all business, and a ratings hit because of it.  I’d even be cordial to the guests.

Tue April 3rd, 2007 11:01 pm

Filed under Televsion