I read that article a few times and here’s my layman’s synopsis, as I understand it: we can get to Mars in about as long as it takes to drive across the DFW metroplex during rush hour by spinning some sort of coil which alters gravity and gives you access to a couple more dimensions which causes you to enter hyperdrive and everything moves really fast, including Oprah and also light.

This makes absolutely no sense, but I’m excited about it anyway. I’m not particularly excited about getting to Mars in three hours; I think I’d get bored there pretty fast. I hear some parts of Mars don’t even have Starbucks yet. But I am excited about getting to work with a really fast commute. If they can get to Mars in three hours, I figure I can get to work in like, 1 second at the most, even if you get stuck behind the old person doing 30 in the left hyperdrive lane with their blinker on.

Of course, this is all theoretical, and the theory has a few sticking points. Like, the coil you’d have to spin is impossible to make with materials we have. And they’re not sure you’d really be able to access those other two dimensions because they’re not sure they actually exist.

That’s the difference between physicists and the rest of us. When I am faced with a problem, such as finding the quickest way to get from point A to point B, I try to solve the problem by avoiding traffic hotspots, driving faster, running a yellow light or two. A physicist, meanwhile, comes up with a solution wherein he invents a couple of theoretical dimensions, alters gravity, and goes into hyperdrive.

I like the way they think.