But, rules are made to be broken.  And I have to share this important NCAA basketball update:

I won my office pool, picking not just the final two but the champion, Kansas.

It was quickly pointed out to me that this wasn’t such an impressive feat, since I picked the top two ranked teams to finish one and two, in that order.  And that the office pool had a total of five people in it.

While those minor details may be true, I still have finally broken my tradition of losing heartily in NCAA bracket office pools, dating back to an internship with Micrografx in 2001.

So, I’ve decided to go ahead and brag to every soul I can find.  Didn’t play in the office pool?  Don’t care.  Don’t even work with me?  Don’t care.  Don’t even know the difference between NCAA and NBA basketball?  Don’t care.  If I run into you, I’m going to brag about this for a little while.

I think I earned this one.  And if not, fine.  I’ve never claimed to not have a hypocritical side.

Feel free to consult with me for my opinion on the NBA playoffs, 2008 NFL football season, and eventual World Series Champion.  My crystal ball is nice and polished.

• We’re off to a slow start as I can’t find a pencil that works.  When I do these running diaries, I like to take notes on paper and transfer them to the living Interweb later.  But so far, the first two mechnical pencils I’ve found are broken and the regular pencil is also broken (and I don’t own a pencil sharpener).  I’m always tripping over pencils when I don’t need one.  Just so you know, all the pregame notes are going to be from memory, while I watch and look for a pencil.  So the accuracy of my comments might be a bit off.
• They’ve introduced a touch of class to the pregame introductions.  The Houston Symphony is on the court, and before the East was introduced, they played Also Spracht Zarathustra (aka the theme from 2001: A Space Odyssey).  Then, the East players (lead by Shaq) did a bit of a choreographed dance before the Houston Symphony broke into some Eminem.  I wonder if these musicians, having spent most of their lives practicing, toiling ove their craft to become the best classical musicians in the world, ever envisioned performing Eminem while scantily clad dancers shook in the background.
• The West got Bethoven’s 5th and Crazy Train.  Yao looked really uncomfortable during the choreographed ditty.  Kobe said later he was trying to get Yao to do the robot.
• Avery Johnson, one of the nicest guys I’ve met so far as a Hoop Troop member, looked really pleased to be coaching the All-Star game.  Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy.
• I’m not sure who just performed Oh, Canada, but I wasn’t impressed.
• And now for a real treat — Destiny’s Child, from Houston, reuinted to perform the national anthem.  This could be the start of the biggest superstar comeback since Michael Jordan, who is probably in the building.
• (7:42) Before tipoff, Tracy McGrady and Yao Ming, starters for the West and starters for the hometown Houston Rockets, gave extremely perfunctory speeches.  Why are clubs having players do this?  The Mavericks have done it a few times, with the lowlight being Darrell Armstrong leaving to a chorus of boos after he proclaimed, on court in Dallas, “How bout them Redskins!”  Sacriledge.  Neither McGrady nor Yao looked comfortable speaking.  Why have them do it?  They’re basketbal players, not orators.
• Just saw the Mavericks Drum Line, who were invited to perform at the All-Star gala, while the far more handsome Hoop Troop was not.  I’m just saying.
• (7:50) It’s officially an All-Star Game — Shaq is showing off his fancy dribbling skills while trying to run the point.  I will give this to Shaq — he’s worth a giggle in All-Star games.
• (7:51) Speaking of Shaq, he just performed his signature move — catch the ball, travel twice in the lane, and dunk it home.
• (7:52) Shaq makes a nice pass to Dwayne Wade for a bucket.  Doug Collins alertly announces Shaq to Kobe.  Hate to break it to you, Doug, but…
• (7:53) It’s becoming the Shaq show.  He just passed the ball through Yao’s legs to Wade, who flipped it over his shoulder back to Shaq, a little high.  It would have been pretty neat if he had been able to catch and dunk cleanly.
• (7:55) There is just some awful alley-oop passes going on in this game.  It’s making my eyes hurt.
• This Sprite “Show Your Dunk Face” commercial is pretty funny, except that it encourages to watch the dunk contest.  Hey TNT, that was yesterday.
• (8:02) Kobe tries to throw some fancy moves at Shaq, who just bear hugs him and takes a foul.  They both had a smile and laughed, but you know Shaq had to really restrain himself from body-slamming Kobe into the hardwood in WWF-style.  It would have made for compelling TV, if it had happened.
• All four Pistons just checked in.  There’s a sight you don’t see at every All-Star game.
• (8:05) Shaq makes me laugh.  He just missed a free throw intentionally off the backboard and went in for the dunk.  Someone forgot to explain the rule that says you have to hit the rim on a free throw.  Hmm.  Maybe he didn’t miss intentionally.
• (8:06) Dirk Nowitzki is into the game!  Incidentally, he won the three-point shootout the day before.  Props to the big German.
• They had Tim Duncan miked up.  Good stuff.  First, they showed some pregame footage and audio of Duncan and Tony Parker playing one-on-one, with Duncan trash-talking after winning on a three-pointer.  The look of disappointment on Parker’s face as the big man beats him on an outside jumper is priceless.  They also have audio of Kevin Garnett checking into the game, Duncan walking over to him and telling him, “Hey, you’ve got Shaq.  Good luck with that.”  I wish players were always miked up during games, and broadcast separately on radiowaves — one of the best innovations NASCAR has going for it.
• (8:19) Collins, Kerr, and Albert give Dirk props.  Unique 7-footer, first ever 7-footer to win three-point shootout, good job to Don Nelson in developing his skills.  I love hearing props going to the big German.
• (8:21) Steve Nash throws a long outlet to Dirk breaking away for the reverse dunk.  I love Jason Terry / Devin Harris, but boy do I ever miss you, Steve Nash.
• (8:22) Replays show Dirk’s left hand slipped on the rim awkwardly after the dunk.  OK, time to bench him.  No Dirk getting hurt, please.
• (8:41) Craig Sager is wearing fairly normal clothes tonight, incidentally, outside of the pink paisley tie (which I need to get one of for myself).  I actually had a chance to talk to him briefly when TNT was in town for the Mavericks game, and he was very nice.  I complimented his clothes, told him we should go shopping sometime.  In a purely platonic, basketball-loving-guys way.
• I bet Sager is a blast at parties.  He’s probably that wild guy that’s way fun and keeps the party rocking.  “Hey, guys, Sager is doing a kegstand again!”
• The halftime entertainment has bored me to the point that I’m going to stop a running diary for the night.  I will note that the game was a nailbiter, with Kobe and T-Mac not coming through in the clutch at the end.  I hope for a repeat in the playoffs.

• Does anyone else always root for a Troy Polamalu interception, just to see if someone will tackle him by the hair? The hair is considered part of the uniform, so if he’s the ball carrier, grabbing him by the hair is 100% legal.
• The funniest commercial was the magic fridge. Second place for funniest goes to the caveman FedEx spot. Third place goes to Diet Pepsi and Jackie Chan.
• If anyone claims I went “awwwwwww!” with all the girls in the room (both of them) at the Budweiser Clydsdale commercial, they are lying. Or maybe stretching the truth. OK FINE! I liked the commercial. Sue me.
• I thought the Burger King ad was stupid. And they really need to get rid of the really creepy king. He freaks me out.
• The better team won. I don’t want to hear about the officials — Pittsburgh got screwed by the officials in Indianapolis and won anyway. Seattle had their chances, and didn’t execute.
• I think 94% of the people who watch football regularly could have orchestrated a better two minute drill than either of the ones the Seattle Seahawks did. They were atrocious. Mike Holmgren should get fined for not having any idea how to manage a clock.
• Am I the only one that was mesmerized by the jiggling of Mick Jagger’s arm flab? And I don’t care if it’s Mick Jagger, 50+ year old men should not be allowed to wear shirts that show off one’s midriff.
• I hope the trend of bands at the Superbowl halftime, like McCartney, U2, and the Rolling Stones, continues. Please don’t bring back pop divas and Justin Timberlakes. Pretty please.
• I’m glad Superbowl XL is over, only because I don’t have to read any more puns on “XL” and “extra large” Superbowls.
• The pregame lineup of Superbowl MVPs was awesome. Shame on Bradshaw and Montana for not coming, especially if the rumors about them not coming because the price was wrong are true. Bradshaw is a Steeler and was in town for the Superbowl festivities. Not participating in the lineup gets two big thumbs down from me.
• I wish they would have named some random Pittsburgh offensive lineman the MVP. It would have been fitting for such a lackluster game.

At any rate, I’ve decided to bring back Q&AK (Q&A, but my initials are AK, clever, eh? Don’t answer that.) one more time, on my latest web home. Of course, for this to be a fun bit, you, the valued and extremely attractive reader have to help. Ask me questions. Anything at all. I won’t promise I’ll answer all of the questions, but I’ll answers ones I feel like answering. So fire away either via email or in the comments section of this or any future Q&AK post.

I asked for some questions in a post a couple of weeks ago, and got a couple of nice responses. So, without further ado, here’s the first topic brought up by Quinn, who I have known personally for something like 20 years. That’s longer than some of you have probably been alive, and it makes me feel old.

“Would you rather: (1) punch Shaq in the nose w/ no ramifications; or (2) have a quiet, intimate dinner w/ Mike Mills?”

Today, this question is a no-brainer. I’d go with the nice dinner with Mike Mills, bassist, keyboardist, and backup vocalist of my favorite band, R.E.M. I’d probably even try to schmooze him into giving me some bass pointers. Or maybe he can teach me how to sing without making people leave the room — that’d be a nice skill to have.

As far as Shaq, to be completely honest, I’ve grown kind of fond of the big oaf as he’s aged. Now that he’s left the Lakers and doesn’t torment my beloved Mavericks very often, I’ve been able to see his good side. He’s a pretty funny interview, really does have good hands for a big man (I can appreciate this more having watched Shawn Bradley and Erick Dampier wander the paint over the past few years), and doesn’t take himself as seriously as other NBA superstars. He’s even interested in law enforcement as a second career — I respect that.

Not only that, what would violence solve? I doubt Shaq would even notice if I punched him in the face. He’d probably thank me for clearing his sinuses.

Well, I take that back. I don’t really want to punch Shaq in the nose, but if you changed the question to ask about Kobe Bryant or Karl Malone (the dirtiest player in NBA history, for my mone), I’d have to really stop and think. I was really pissed off when I woke up this morning and read about Kobe scoring 81 points last night. Kobe’s a big baby that’s completely full of himself and is interested only in his own personal success rather than team success — and it just puts me in a bad mood to read about hi success and people bowing at his feet. I cling to the hope that he’ll never win an NBA championship without Shaq at his side — I bet that eats him up when people bring it up. I take solace in the Lakers’ poor record this year, even though Kobe is scoring a ton of points. But it definitely becomes easier to score a ton of points when you take all of your team’s shots.

Even though I hate to admit it, 81 points is impressive, if for no other reason than the physical conditioning it must take. And I’m sure Toronto’s defense was focusing on him — making it that much harder to get the ball into position to score. Toronto’s defense isn’t anything to write home about, but they’re still an NBA team playing defense.

That having been said, I wouldn’t consider putting a single dollar on the Lakers beating anyone, let alone going anywhere in the playoffs. He’s just too much of a ball hog. Steve Kerr and John Paxson took big shots on Jordan’s teams, and Scottie Pippen was a great sidekick. I don’t think Kobe wants a sidekick, and I doubt he’d let anyone else have the big shot. He wants it all for himself. And let him have it — he can enjoy his early off-season all he wants. I hope.

It drives me nuts when people just try to pass the blame from person to person in an effort to save their own hide. If you’re responsible, step up and say so. If you’re partly responsible, admit to your mistakes, and try to find out where things went wrong so it doesn’t happen again.

Michael Brown did neither. He just sat there, patted himself on the back, and blamed everyone else for what went wrong.

“My biggest mistake was not recognizing by Saturday [August 27] that Louisiana was dysfunctional,” — Michael Brown (via CNN)

Of course, Louisiana government blames the national government. If you hear only what people had to say about their own group, the Louisiana situation wasn’t handled that badly. But at least Mayor Nagin admits to local shortcomings:

“The federal government, state government and local government did not have the processes, in my opinion, to deal with a storm of this magnitude,” Nagin said.

People are trying to save face now, rather than face up to their mistakes. Katrina was a disaster and Katrina’s relief was a disaster.

Everyone always has someone else to blame — be it in politics or in general. Politics seems to have the highest concentration of blame-passers; I’m guessing it’s because the only way to get to be a newsworthy politician is to have passed enough blame that people will think you had a good enough record to vote for.

“I am happy to be a scapegoat,” Brown said. “I am happy to take whatever barbs that Mr. Taylor or anybody else wishes to throw at me if it means that the FEMA that I knew when I came here is going to be able to be reborn.”

If you’re sitting there saying you’re a scapegoat in front of the world, guess what? You don’t actually believe you did anything wrong. You believe you did everything right, and are getting blamed for everything anyway. Way to take the high road, Brown.

I usually find Congressional hearings to be a joke, and a chance for Congressmen to get some good PR while not actually getting anything done (note the baseball steroid hearings), but Christopher Shays got in a good line:

“”That’s why I’m happy you left,” Shays said, “because that kind of, you know, look in the lights like a deer, tells me that you weren’t capable to do the job.”

Look at that. For once, I agree with a politician.

Palmeiro tested positive for steroids. His defense is he didn’t know the stuff he was taking had steroids in them, and that next time he’ll get his pills from a “licensed physician.”

So let me get this straight — our options are to believe that Palmeiro is either an idiot or a liar. Great.

Let’s assume we believe Palmeiro’s word at face value. That means that a man who relies on his body for his career is putting weird stuff into it — stuff he can’t identify. That’s not very bright for anyone, but a professional athlete who knows steroids are banned, who knows how important it is to have a body in perfect condition? Uncanny. It blows my mind.

Or, we can assume that Raffy is lying, and that he knows perfectly well what he’s putting into his body. Even better. It was suggested on the radio that Raffy was having a subpar season statistically, and then suddenly, halfway through it, gets caught with steroids. Someone wanting his edge back?

It sucks to have to be suspicious like that — that suddenly Jose Canseco might be the one with the credibility. Canseco had named Palmeiro in his book as a player who he personally injected with steroids. Most people shrugged that off; Palmeiro didn’t have the giant bodybuilder look that Canseco, McGuire, Bonds, Giambi had. And Palmeiro was always a good guy, from what I heard — upstanding in the community, good with the fans, etc. But now I find myself accusing him of wanting an extra boost (insert your favorite Viagra joke here).

I wish he hadn’t put himself in a position to be held to that kind of scrunity. I think everyone believed him when he said at the Congressional hearings that he never used steroids, “period.”

Today, that statement is, that he’s never “intentially used steroids.” Disappointing.