Focusing on strengths and differentiation is nothing new to marketing, but those basic tenets seem to get lost in favor of cleverness and “wow” factors.

Southwest’s latest campaign really resonates, though.

Bags are important to flyers.  How often do you hear horror stories about airlines losing bags?  I know my Facebook news stream is littered with stories this holiday season of airlines losing their bags.

Southwest recognizes bags’ importance to customers, and plays off of that.

“Bags fly free” isn’t just about saving the customer money. Where other airlines are saying, “your bags are 1) an inconvenience and 2) an opportunity for us to make a few more dollars”, Southwest uses bags as an opportunity.

Their latest commercial paints a picture of burly men handling bags personally, and getting teary-eyed when they get on the plane and fly away.

“Bags are my life,” one handler says.

“I love bags,” another says, waving goodbye to his traveling friends.

That message, combined with the lack of fees, is Southwest saying to its customer that bags are important to you, so they’re important to the airline.   The implication is they won’t lose your bags, because they care — and the humans behind the actual baggage handling care.

It’s a starkly different picture than that of the “stereotypical baggage handler” — an angry man that’s doing his best to test the structural integrity of your baggage.

And it’s a refreshing change.  Travelers are tired of the “same old” from airlines, which includes late flights, nickel and dime charges at every opportunity, and lost luggage.

Southwest’s message, which revolves around something as simple as the lack of a fee around the first piece of luggage, effectively points out that they are an airline intent on bucking the trends set by their industry. And of winning the customer satisfaction battle.

• Swimming was the most popular sport in the world, and Michael Phelps was running for supreme dictator of the planet — he gets interviewed more than the U.S. presidential candidates;
• Gymnastics was the second most popular sport in the world, even though it appears to be dominated by female children (arguably true in China’s case, apparently) and bulky, stocky men;
• Beach volleyball was the third most popular sport in the world.  By the way, can anyone explain to me that women wear next to nothing to play the sport, but men wear loose shorts and shirts?  Is it mandated by some volleyball governing body that the women competitors have to show off their caboose on national TV, while the guys can cover it all up?
• Bela Karolyi is some sort of international superspy, lagging behind only Michael Phelps (and his “flat behind” as described by NBC as giving him a swimming advantage) in camera time.  I think Bob Costas is getting jealous.

Surprisingly, I don’t find Howie Mendel that annoying.  He plays up the drama a bit, but what do you expect?  He’s normally not over the top, and he’s not smarmified like Regis Philbin or douchetastic like Simon Cowell.  Other than the distracting glare off his bald dome, I have no complaints about Howie.  But I do have complaints:

• The contestants are kind of annoying.  They talk and dance and stuff way too much.  I guess it’s a trend Who Wants to Be a Millionaire started — the whole “talking through your thought process” thing.  Just say what you’re thinking — “Man, I’m probably about to lose a ton of guaranteed money, most of which will be taken away by taxes anyway, on the off chance of winning $500,000, when instead I’ll probably end up walking home with $1.25, $0.98 of which the government will take.  But on the bright side, I am getting my 15 minutes of fame.  Most of which I’m spending being annoyingly smarmy and pretending to be buddy-buddy with Howie Mendel.”  If it were me, I’d march up to that stage, pick my numbers, and be on and off in 15 minutes including commercials — and that’s if I went deep into the game.
• What’s up with the guests?  One episode I saw, they brought out a strangely normal-looking Hanson, all growed up.  While I did find their a capella version of “MM Bop” oddly compelling, what’s the point of bringing them out?  Was Lance Bass not available?  The contestent seemed unphased by the one-hit-wonders behind her, and was even soliciting their advice on what to do.  Call me crazy, but I’m not sure I want my financial advice coming from Hanson.  The second night I watched, they had some not-funny comedian on that I didn’t recognize.  I’m not sure what his role was, other than to tell the contestant they were getting him into Last Comic Standing (maybe this guy is the host of the show?  could be) because he had a dream of being a stand up comic.  Kind of a cool touch, but they should have just told him without stopping down for a guest appearance.  I’d have been, like, “Guys, seriously, just let me pick my suitcases so I can win some cash.”
• The models are annoying.  Apparently, they’re hoping that if, when the contestant calls out their number, it’s an opportunity to show off their entire acting range in the hopes of getting “that really big break, bigger than standing with a suitcase on Deal or No Deal.  Now they even all have to say something after they open the suitcaes and peek in.  It always goes the same way — smiles, glee, slow opening of the suitcase, peeking it, going poker faced, then showing the dollar amount, followed by either such a level of excitement you’d think THEY had won the money inside, or a little frowny face and shrug of shoulders that says, “Hey, you may not have won $750,000 but at least you picked the number of the hottest girl on stage and not one of these other girls who aren’t nearly as pretty as me!”  If I were the producers of the show, I’d tell them to just open the case.  All those theatrics are valuable time they could be using to showcase the karaoke talents of the contestant.  Which they actually do.  But really, odds are the models aren’t about to discovered.  They’re not going to get a phone call that’s like, “Whoa!  I saw the way you opened that suitcase, and the way you went from happy to kind of pouty when the suitcase had a large dollar amount was amazing!  Would you like to star opposite Tom Hanks in his next major motion picture and receive millions of dollars?”  I mean, come on — you’re sharing a stage with Hanson!  You just watched a live performance of “Mm Bop” and it’s 2007!  Egads.
• Too many cuts to the friends/advisors/family of the contestants, who are invariably screaming “no deal!”.  Of COURSE they’re going to tell you to say “No deal” — it’s not their money! (Unless it’s the wife/husband.  But even they usually say “No deal!”)  Generally speaking, they’re going to want a cut, and for their cut to be any good, you have to go all the way.  Standard agent cut of 3%, assuming a winnings of $20,000, which turns into $9,000 after taxes or something,  is $270.  They spent that the night before at the hotel bar trying to impress one of the models.

That having been said, get me on the show.  I’d be all business, and a ratings hit because of it.  I’d even be cordial to the guests.

For the record, I still watch the show.  I absolutely loved the show previously, and if the writers can create brilliance for one season, I’m sure they can do it again.  They just haven’t. 

This whole thread with Meredith’s falling into the water while saving some lives is what decided it for me.  I won’t go into spoilerish details, but I think it marks a clear “jump the shark” moment.

Before a show can jump the shark, though, it has to hit a period of stagnation.  And Grey’s has done that.  For example:

• The characters used to have interesting relationships amongst each other and their residents.  Now?  It’s gone pure soap opera.  Everyone has paired off.  George and Callie with the most sudden marriage ever, Burke proposing to Christina out of the blue, Meredith and McDreamy Shepherd, Izzy and the late Denny, and now even Addison and Alex.  Apparently at this hospital, every high ranking medical surgeon has to be in a relationship with an intern.  And not just any intern, but an intern from one little group of interns.  Whatever.  Next thing you know, the chief and Bailey will hook up.  Actually, he’s divorced now… ugh.  I hope Shonda Rhimes doesn’t read this.
• Speaking of Bailey, she used to be a totally badass resident that took no gruff from anyone.  A sort of Dr. Cox-from Scrubs character.  And then, out of nowhere, they completely emasculated her.  And then they tried to make her tough again by getting her this free clinic.  It took her a total of five minutes to get a free clinic approved by medical higher-ups.  Five minutes!  It wasn’t even the entire episode!  Since when do hospitals hand free clinics to RESIDENTS?  She’s not even an attending!
• There are too many contrived “touching” moments.  Like Izzy’s speech at the end of episode 2 of the ferry-disaster trilogy.  It was poorly written, poorly delivered (not that she had a chance given what she was working with), and just a mess.  She starts rambling about everything, even telling George getting married was a bad idea.  This from a woman who married a patient that she had never seen outside of a hospital bed.  I could understand it if it was supposed to be some sort of ironic moment, but it was delivered and written with such sincerity that I just don’t believe it to be intended to be ironic.  Just… bad.
• Alex used to be hardnosed, troublemaking brash kid that wants to get rich in plastics.  That provided an interesting foil to the other “straight arrow” characters.  But we’re not even through season two and he’s turned into a boy scout, spending most of his time with neo-natal and infants.  I’m all for character development, but not that FAST.  Make us see him grow over time — not just wake up one day and be like, whoa, that OBG is a hot, and hey, kids are special.  His transformation from selfish kid to model citizen took all of three episodes.  And now he’s even getting all romantic with Addison.  And not hook up romantic, like one would expect from Alex, but romantic romantic.  Whatever.  There’s enough of that with McDreamy and Meredith and George and Callie and Christina and Burke.  Don’t give me more of the same.
• Speaking of Christina, they’ve turned her one dimensional too — selfish doctor-witch.  She can’t go five minutes in an episode without being all mad that she’s not personally performing the world’s first albino-tiger-to-human liver transplant.  She used to be a cool, driven character.  Now she’s just jumped her own personal shark.
• George and Callie happened too fast.  I can’t even remember what George was like before Callie, but it wasn’t this.  I thought he was annoying when he was pining over Meredith — boy was I wrong.  He used to be my favorite character — now I think about changing the channel to check Sportscenter when he comes on.  I thought the episodes with him and his father were good episodes — it showed an angry, terse side that emerged under the extreme duress of his father’s illness.  But in the span of about 5 episodes it seems like he went from being mad at Meredith for crying while he did things with her, hooking up with Callie, breaking up with Callie, and marrying Callie.  That didn’t even take a full season!

I could go on and on, but I have to get to my theory of why this happened.  My theory?  I think the writers have gotten full of themselves, particularly Shonda Rhimes.

I read the Grey’s Writers’ blog, which is what lead me to this conclusion.  Read the posts from Shonda Rhimes.  Maybe I’m looking too much into it, but to me, it screams out “I’m patting myself on the back and am way too proud of myself and my writing.”  She should be proud of it, of course — she wrote one of the most popular TV shows in the country that doesn’t star people making asses of themselves hoping to land a record contract.  But not TOO proud.  There’s a fine line.  Am I the only one that gets that sense from reading that blog?

I am going to watch Grey’s again this week, but I’m TiVoing the Friday repeats these days.  Thursday night goes to NBC, now.  At the start of the season, I struggled in deciding whether to watch Scrubs or Grey’s Anatomy, since they’re head to head.  And while Scrubs isn’t having its best season ever, it easily trumps this season of Grey’s Anatomy.

Of course, with all the negativity I just spewed about Grey’s Anatomy, it could still turn itself around.  Like I said, Shonda Rhimes has written some incredible episodes — and there’s no reason she can’t do it again.  I’d love to see it happen.

• It was startlingly strange to see Dick Clark post-stroke.  The poor guy went from 40 to 80 over the course of a year.  It’s odd to see the ageless wonder having suddenly aged.
• He was introduced by Simon Cowell, a hated TV-villain that by most accounts is a total tool that doesn’t deserve such an honor.  Further proof that Simon Cowell runs television.
• And then the odd Emmy lineup continues with Dick Clark introducing a performance from… Barry Manilow.  And people wonder why NBC ratings are down.
• And as if that wasn’t weird enough, that was followed shortly by a phrase I never thought I’d hear: “And the Emmy goes to… Barry Manilow.”  Go figure.
• I was hoping that Conan would have his pompadour at record heights… but they trimmed it for the big stage.  It’s too bad.
• Stephen Colbert looks more like Bob Saget every day.  If he starts calling Jon Stewart Uncle Jessie, I’m going to worry.
• Evangeline Lilly, who we usually see in her tattered Lost-clothes, looks great in an evening gown.  Marishka Hargitay, who we usually see in Law and Order: SVU cop-clothes, does too.
• My personal vote for Best Actor in a Comedy Series won it, Tony Shaloub from one of my favorite shows, Monk.  I was kind of wondering if he’d get up on stage and be a crazy man, but he acted very Monk-like, outside of being OK with shaking people’s hands.
• Tribute to the late Aaron Spelling was pretty cool — of course, it was going to be cool automatically since Aaron was a cheerleader at my college alma mater, SMU.  And then they brought out the original Charlie’s Angels.  This definitely tops the Barry Manilow performance.
• OK I’ve gotten a bit bored and am now watching Grey’s Anatomy more than the Emmy’s.  Hey, don’t sue me, I’m just getting into Grey’s so I’m behind on all the storylines.  I’m trying to get caught up before the new season starts.
• But I’m still doing the Emmy’s during commercials.  And by golly, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert are hilarious.  Even if the category they’re presenting, best reality competition, doesn’t deserve a category.  It’s like naming the best smelling cat food.  Don’t bother.
• Funniest moment I’ve seen so far — Stephen Colbert breaking down during the presenting to exclaim: “I LOST TO BARRY MANILOW!”  That one will sting for a while.
• Quick unrelated Grey’s Anatomy thought:  Ellen Pompeo is gorgeous but she desperately needs a hamburger or 12.
• Another quick unrelated Grey’s Anatomy thought: I want a jaunty surgeon’s cap like they wear.

It appears th Emmy’s ended right on time, after switching back over post-Grey’s Anatomy.  Now there’s a trick the Academy Awards needs to learn.

• Nicole Ritchie was on a repeat episode of Jay Leno.  She desperately needs a hamburger.  I’m going to have to declare her one terrifying looking woman.  I know, it’s old news that she’s gotten rail-thin.  I just had to announce my shock at just HOW thin she is.
• In a different episode of Leno on the TiVo, Kevin Eubanks was wearing a hat that said “BONDS.”  I don’t know how he does it, but Kevin always manages to detect a sports topic I have a strong opinion about and support the side I can’t stand.  In the past, he’s worn Philadelphia Eagles and Philadelphia 76ers jerseys.  Can’t stand either team (even though Allen Iverson has grown on me).
• I liked Jennifer Love Hewitt better with longer hair.  She was on Leno, and I noted to myself — dang, she’s gotten older!  Then I remembered we share a birthday — February 21, 1979 (she in Waco, me in Dallas — our lives started on the same day, just 100 miles away or so).  I was immediately dismayed.
• I’ve already used 3 parenthetical phrases in this blog post.  Can we say, “Writing crutch?”
• My TiVo had picked up an episode of Conan O’Brien where U2 was the only guest.  The episode aired in 2005 and I just now saw it.  I see this as a sign that I must not have as many friends as I used to.
• The Edge got the funniest line of the evening.  He and Bono participated in Conan’s classic “In the Year 2000″ sketch, and the Edge proclaimed that: “[In the year 2000] U2 will admit that they wrote the song ‘I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For’ after going to three supermarkets looking for Boo-Berry cereal.”
• They performed 4 songs, including a neat acoustic version of Stuck in a Moment.  My favorite, though, was a lively version of Vertigo, which was cut for time.  Doh.
• On that version of Vertigo, the Edge used a Telecaster — I’ve never seen him use a Tele for Vertigo.  It sounded, to my ears, the same as the other guitars he’s used to perform the song.  Which lends credence to my theory that the Edge’s signal chain is so complex, all his guitars end up sounding the same.
• I wish that when interviewing bands, interviewers tried to get unique stories behind specific songs.  I’ve heard all the generic questions — I want unique, never-before-told anecdotes behind songs.  And you know every song has some sort of anecdote behind it.
• How did Letterman and Leno get such goober band leaders, while Conan landed a stallion like Max Weinberg?  I could wander down to the local Guitar Center and pick out a random dude wasting time that would make a more interesting band leader / comedic foil than Eubanks and Schaffer.  Screw Shaffer’s credentials, the man is boring.
• I will begrudgingly give Schaffer props for the “Will It Float” theme.

8:00 Here we go!

8:01 Rose and Bernard open things up. Rose is checking out the foods. Bernard shows skepticism about food from sky with weird packaging. I’m with you here, Bernard. I’m always a little uncomfortable even when I buy food in an unfamiliar grocery store; I imagine I’d be more than a little skeezed out by food that just comes mysteriously from the sky.

8:01 Bernard makes a great point, something I haven’t thought about since the whole raft incident. Have people given up on being rescued? “They’ve built a kitchen on the beach,” he points out. I know if I were on that island, I’d want to get out. Bernard and I think alike.

8:02 Locke is trying to redraw map the he saw on the wall during the whole lockdown thing. He must not have TiVo or the Internet; enhanced screen captures are all over the place. You would think he could At LEAST find some freeze frames on Google.

8:02 Jack asks him if he’s going to input the numbers since the alarm is going off. Locke looks like he’s struggling with the idea, but gives in to his number-love as the clock ticks closer to zero.

8:04 Two days with Gale not eating or drinking water. Jack goes in to chat with Gale, who doesn’t cooperate — says nothing. But Jack is still being a good doctor, and changes Gale’s wound dressing. Hipocrates strikes again. Gale doesn’t look good, not that he did in the first place. In fact, he’s looking worse. His eyes are somehow even more buggy.

8:04 Jack tells Gale he’s going to try to trade him for Walt. Gale says nothing until Jack is leaving — “He’ll never give you Walt.” This gives us some good tidbits — there is a single, big leader, Gale knows him, and he really likes Walt for his obviously nefarious purposes. Commercial time.

8:08 Tom Cruise and Diane Sawyer interview Friday at 9, on a Special Primetime. Not gonna lie, that’s gonna get TiVoed. I hope he goes bonkers like on Oprah. Maybe he’ll try to jump on Diane Sawyer’s head.

8:09 Rose and Bernard flashback. Bernard is kinda bossy, but he seems cool — helping Rose get her car out of the snow. After some awkward goodbyes, Rose offers to buy Bernard a cup of coffee. Aww, look, it’s budding love!

8:11 Hurley tells Rose about his new diet — fish and water. I doubt that will last. Bernard has an idea, and needs a bunch of people. I thought ideas were Jack and Locke’s territory? I didn’t know other people were allowed to have ideas.

8:12 Jack once again owns Sawyer. Jack walks up to Sawyer and Kate hanging out on the beach and explains that he’s going to do a prisoner exchange in the jungle. Sawyer smugly says “So want me to come along and bring a gun?” Jack replies, “No, I already have a gun. And I was inviting Kate.” SNAP!

8:14: Bernard wants to make a giant sign. Rose apparently agrees that Bernard is not allowed to make the ideas on the island and suggests they run it by Jack — Bernard seems insulted. Why does everything have to run through Jack? “He’s only a doctor!” Rose — “And you’re a dentist.” Rose thinks it’s a bad idea to give people the false hope of being rescued. Hey, some people would consider the island a nice vacation home, if it weren’t for the whole “Constant threat of smoke monsters and crazy people called Others, not mention a weird French lady.” For the record, shouldn’t we quit referring to her as the weird French lady? Isn’t that redundant? (Come on, everyone loves a good French joke, right?)

8:15 Commercial. It’s only been 6 minutes since the last one! I think we’re going to have a total of 19 minutes of actual TV show during this hour.

8:20 We’re back, and flashing back Rose and Bernard style, outside of what appears to be Niagara Falls. Bernard is proposing to Rose (revealing that he’s 56 at the time and that they met 5 months earlier), with violins playing and WHOA instead of saying “yes.” Now there’s an interesting tidbit. But she seems fine on the island! The island heals another? What is Rose sick with? I need answers stat!

8:21 OK, I got some answers. She’s been in remission for the last couple of years, and it’s back and not going away. Doctor says she has a year, maybe a little longer. Bernard looks disappointed. But Bernard shows he’s got some character — “You haven’t answered my question.” He still wants to get married. Good man.

8:22 Back on the island, Bernard notices Charlie and Eko constructing. He asks what they’re building — Charlie spills the beans. They’re building a church. Bernard says they should help him, since trying to get people saved. “People are saved in different ways” Eko replies. “I liked you better when you just hit people with your stick.” “I like you just the way you are,” says Charlie. So here’s the question of the day — is Charlie sincere in trying to find God? Does he feel bad about kidnapping Sun, kidnapping Claire’s baby, and stealing stashes of drugs? Or is it lip service? Does the island only heal physical ails — so mental ailments like Hurley’s seeing things and Charlie’s addiction go untreated? Sounds like the island is a typical HMO. Or has Charlie’s addiction been treated? He has the mental desire to have the goods handy, but we’ve seen no evidence of him ever actually using the drugs. And maybe Hurley really did see his little pajama buddy — people have seen stranger things on that island.

8:24 Locke announces he wants to talk to Gale. Ana-Lucia explains he can’t go in, since Jack took the gun, but he can talk through the armory door. Locke demands to know if he entered in the numbers or not. As Locke is throwing a fit outside the door, the camera goes to Gale inside, sitting happily with a maniacal grin. The Fake Henry Gale 1, Locke 0.

8:25 Commercial again! We went a full 5 minutes without a commercial just now.

8:26 For the record, I’m trying to do this without the help of TiVo. It feels more pure this way, and I don’t want to know any Lost secrets a single secnod behind evreyone else. So far, so good, but mainly because there are so many commercials.

8:27 Mission Impossible 3 preview. Tom Cruies never struck me as a real action star. I bet he’s the kind of actor that has stuntmen do everything for him, except sex scenes. The stuntment probably even have to give some of his lines. Tom Cruise just sits there and delivers the cocky grin. Hmm, the more I think about it, the stuntment might have to do the sex scenes, too.

8:30 We’re back again, on the island. Bernard is really into this sign making. But he’s pretty disappointed that not many people are helping with his sign. It requires carrying rocks a half mile, which everyone else is supposed to do, while Bernard sketches in the sand. No one is very excited about it. Hurley asks why Bernard gets to play in the sand, and Bernard barks back that everyone has a role that they need to do. Not good people management here.

8:31 Flashback time. Bernard refuses to ask for directions as he’s lost on the outback. “We’re not lost,” he keeps repeating. Irony. Oh, I see, he’s taking Rose to a faith healer — on purpose. He really wasn’t lost. Rose is a little annoyed about being dragged across Australia to a faith healer. OK, she’s all out angry. Bernard seems a little confused that she’s angry. “I have made my peace with what’s happening to me,” Rose explains. “Well I haven’t,” Bernard explains. Well that makes sense about the sign now — “I have to try,” he says to Rose.

8:33 Back to live action, Bernard is begging Sawyer to help with the sign. “What, you got union trouble down by the sand factory?”

8:34 Bernard blames Rose for his lack of volunteers for building his sign, since she kind of pooh-poohed the idea earlier. Rose asks him why he can’t let things just be. He then says if he wasn’t so proactive, Rose wouldn’t be alive. I think he thinks the faith healer did a good job.

8:35 Kate and Jack in the jungle. Kate says thanks for inviting her and Jack says he did it because he knows they don’t want her. “They had you and let you go.” But they didn’t want me either, he said. “Damaged goods” Kate says. STATEMENT! The Others want kids for some reason — probably something to do with them not being damaged goods. Now, are we talking not damaged as in physically not damaged, or as in, not having committed ill against one another? Could almost be either one, but probably more about the life purity thing. Flashbacks keep showing that our Losties have plenty of skeletons in their closets.

8:36 Kate sees something in the grass. It’s a baby doll. Jack realizes it’s a trap, and tries to stop Kate from picking it up. He lunges for her… just in time for both of them to get caught in the trap. “Sorry,” Kate says sheepishly.

8:37 Commercial, duh. It’s a good thing though, I had to use TiVo to pause after Kate’s “damaged goods” statement. I had to chew on that for a second.

8:40 How to spot the surefire warning signs of a meth addict, tonight at 10 on the local news. So that’s what kids are up to these days.

8:41 We’re back. Good one Jack — “Are you ok?” “Yeah.” “So you CAN hear me.”

8:41: Wow, major hanky panky as Kate tries to get out Jack’s gun. (Jack can’t reach) They get the gun, and now Kate wants to fire it, explaining she’s a better shot. She misses. Jack takes a turn — he hits it. Only because he had a better angle, Kate says. Sexual tension abound, but nothing happens. Kate also slips in that this isn’t an Other trap, it’s less sophisticated. Probably the crazy French lady.

8:43 Back on the beach, Bernard flips out on Jin. 3 rows of rocks, he yells! Jin gets mad and leaves, and Bernard has to beg for him to stay. “I just want to get my wife home,” Bernard says. “Sorry,” Jin says as he walks off. I think he does have bad management tactics.

8:44 Rose tells Locke she’s in his spot. “I can move” he says. “Can you?” she says. The two healed. Locke drops a bombshell — announces he’s done with the hatch. “You’re just frustrated,” Rose says. “You’ll be back on your feet in no time.” “Jack says it will take at least 4 weeks,” Locke replies despondently. “Honey, you and I both know it’s not going to take that long.” And we have the first oral awknowledgement of the island as a healing force.

8:45 ZWOOP! Flashback. Rose is at the faith healer’s. We meet the faith healer Isaac. Rose is skeptical. “There are certain places on the earth with energy,” he explains. “Places like this.” Hmm. And places like the island?

8:47 Isaac does his faith healer thing and looks confused. “I’m sorry. I can’t do anything for you, Rose. It’s not that you can’t be healed. Like I said, there’s different energies. This isn’t the right place.” “Where is the right place?” “I wish I knew.” Well, he made a good try with his waving his hands near her head thing. “I’m going to return your husband’s donation,” Isaac says. “Don’t, I’m going to tell him you fixed me.” Bernard payed $10,000 to get her in to see him — that’s a pretty expensive ruse.

8:48 Raining in the jungle. Why does it only rain in the jungle? Are there bigger clouds there? “What did you mean back there, in the net?” Jack asks. “That they’re sophisticated.” Kate drops the bomb about the other hatch and the costumes and the medical stuff. “When were you going to tell me this?” asks Jack. “When you let me back in the club,” says Kate. So I guess she noticed that they were keeping a prisoner and keeping everyone out, eh?

8:50 “We’re here,” says Jack. “HEY!” he yells. “I’M BACK! YOU SAY YOU’RE WATCHING US? YOU HEAR ME? WE HAVE YOUR MAN, YOU WANT HIM BACK, YOU HAVE TO COME OUT HERE!” Kate is like, they’re not here. ZWOOP commercial.

8:50 I’d like to note that after two weeks of mind blowing episodes, this one has been pretty subtle and not mind blowing. ABC probably heard through the grapevine that I was going to blog about it, so they didn’t want to give me too much material. I see how it is, ABC. I see how it is.

8:55 We’re back. Bernard is making his sign by himself. Rose brings him some supper. Bernard is not amused by Rose’s question of where everyone is. Rose reveals to Bernard that Isaac didn’t heal her. Bernard is like, of course he did. Rose is like, he didn’t. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not healed.” Rose says that this place has healed her. Bernard is like, how do you know it wasn’t Isaac? Rose is just like, I know. We flashback to her in the airport, with Locke rolling up in his wheelchair handing her her medicine that fell out of her purse. Finally someone that remembers that Locke was handicapped before he got on the plane. Bernard asks “You don’t want to be rescued, do you. That if you leave, it’ll come back. And if you can’t leave, then neither can I.” And now we have a touching moment. Bernard tries to crack a joke — “I’d offer to take down the sign, but we didn’t get very far.” They zoom out to the SOS sign, with just a sliver of the S done.

8:59 Locke back in the hatch after. “I pushed your button” says Ana-Lucia, showing a rare smile. “It’s not my button.” says Locke. “Where did you go?” she asks. “I just needed to stretch my legs.” And he sits back down to work on the drawing of the map again.

9:00 It’s touching moment time! Jin and Sun, Charlie and Eko, Claire and baby, Hurley and Libby, Sawyer and the dog (first dog appearance in a while. Proof that dogs love everyone.) And Rose and Bernard. All the happy couples.

9:02 And speaking of happy couples — Jack and Kate in the woods, clearly no answer from the Others. Now it’s time for more sexual tension! “I’m sorry I kissed you” said Kate. “I’m not” said Jack. They’re about to kiss… and… SOUNDS! It’s the OTHERS! They’re here! Torches! Suspense! Someone running toward them, and they fall down in front of them. IT’S MICHAEL! He’s passing out. ZWOOP! And that’s our episode.

Next timeichael wants to go after the Others to get Walt back. He keeps saying that they’re barely armed. That should be a good episode. And I’m still hooked.

Don’t get me wrong, Lost has a lot going for it. It’s really quite a good show — which is probably why I’m addicted to it (along with millions of others). The plot is remarkably intriguing, the characters are interesting, and the writers have mastered the art of the cliffhanger.

But come 9:00PM Wednesdays Central time, when the show is over, I’m invariably frustrated and inches away from going completely postal. I’ve always enjoyed the previous hour while it was happening, but when I stop and think afterwards about what I just saw, my brain goes into overload mode and I have to watch ESPN Sportscenter to get my sanity back.

Just when you get attached to a storyline or a character, the show ends and you don’t hear about that storyline again for quite a while. And there are just so many storylines and characters, it’s impossible to keep track of them. Just sitting here, I can think of:

Hurley and the numbers, the Others, the black mist monster, the polar bear, the old crazy woman whose name I can’t remember and the numbers, Locke and his handicap, Jack and his dad, Kate and her criminal past, Ana Lucia and her past, Ana Lucia and her being way too bossy, Walt’s kidnapping, the kidnapped twins, Michael’s search for walt, the Dharma film, the electromagnetic thingie in the bunker, Eko and his past, Charlie and his drugs, Claire and her baby, Sayid and his past, Jack’s life as a surgeon, Jack’s wife, Jack and Kate’s love interest, Kate and Sawyer’s love interest, Sawyer’s injury, the raft, the guy in the bunker who ran off whose name I can’t remember but he calls Jack “brutha”, the computer and the countdown, Walt in the computer, the quarantine on the bunker, Locke and his encounter with the monster, Hurley and Libby’s love interest, Jin and his wife, Rose and her husband, Ethan the spy, whatsisface the tail-end spy, the Others kidnapping children, what happened to that one lady who was travelling with the tail-enders, and how all of the above connect (such as Sawyer having met Jack’s dad in Australia).

And that’s just off the top of my head. I’m sure I’m missing countless of storylines.

What’s frustrating is the writers will spend weeks working on a storyline that’s abandoned. For instance, they spent much of season one preparing the raft, saying goodbye to the people on the raft, and then within a few episodes, everyone on the raft is back at the camp, with the exception of Walt. Instead of spending almost an entire season on the raft, they could have had the tail-enders wander into camp chasing a butterfly, have the Others kidnap Walt in the middle of the night, and move the plot along at a much better pace with the same result.

It’s pretty evident that the writers keep having these great and mysterious ideas and then go, “eh, how will we fit that in? Forget it, let’s worry about it later!” They’ve so much as admitted that they don’t have a really specific gameplan, and it shows.

It seems like after every epside, I’m sitting there thinking, that was interesting… but nothing really happened! I worry that this will go on and on and on until there are so many plotlines, so many characters, and so much time spent, that eventually everyone will get tired of the show, it’ll be abandoned, and we’ll never know what the black mist is. Or why the numbers are so important.

One of the more recent teases is two weeks ago, Michael talked to Walt (or so it seems) via the computer that is not supposed to be used outside of inputting the numbers at the very end of the episode. Last week, Michael talked to Walt again, who said to go to… well, they didn’t tell us where Walt told Michael to go. They cliffhangered that, too. And in this week’s episode, Michael has run off, but they still haven’t told us where. Where is Michael going, for Pete’s sake? Locke comments that he has a direct path. But to where?

I’d feel much better about the roundabout pace if the show had a set lifespan — like, it will be 6 seasons long, or 5 years long, or whatever — just some sort of reassurance that the show won’t wander around in circles forever until it just dies of disinterest.

And all that having been said, I’ll be watching again next Wednesday, and madly reading Lost blogs and forums trying to figure everything out.

I woke up in the middle of the night last night and had a little trouble getting back to sleep, so I turned on the TV and flipped through a few channels. First thing on the screen was an infomercial on the local ABC affiliate for a program that supposedly gets you rich by trading in the exchanges market. A lady in a newsroom-like setting was asking a suit clearly rehearsed questions that he happily answered, the gist of all of his answers being that it’s easy and everyone, including you personally, will get rich if you follow their instructions. Meanwhile, at the bottom of the screen was the fine print, explaining that NOT everyone, including you personally, will get rich, and in fact could lose all your money. But no one wants to hear that.

I stayed on the channel for about 30 seconds before switching to another channel and seeing another infomercial. This was in the Oprah-like setup, a few people on a stage in front of a Live Studio Audience ™. My brain escaped out my left ear before I could make a mental note of what they were selling, but I’m sure it was available in 5 small payments.

Now, the question is — who actually watches these things? Somebody must be watching them, and buying the products, if they stay on TV. Not that many people, though, or else these things would be on during prime-time (Ross Perot style) — but enough people that half the channels on TV at any given post-2am time are showing infomercials.

It’s ingrained into my head to be skeptical of infomercials — even though I’m not instantly skeptical of commercials. I’m even thinking about going to Burger King for lunch today after seeing countless commercials featuring that creepy mute king playing football or being King Kong. But if I see a product in an infomercial, I will immediately not give it any consideration — even if it’s something I could really use, like a little machine that puts little plastic things back on the end of your shoelaces (wow, that’s such a good idea I might just write a separate post about it sometime soon). I’m sure a lot of people think that way — but not everyone. At what point do you become totally jaded to infomercials? Or maybe I’m just in the minority?

A lot of people were expecting Apple, via iTunes, to eventually sell music videos and movies. I didn’t see people predicting that an intermediary step before movies would be the purchase of television shows, however. And it’s a logical step — before asking people to commit to purchasing longer, probably more expensive content, why not see if they’ll commit to purchasing shorter television shows for $1.99 each?

Portable movies have been done before, anyway (portable DVD players, PSP-formatted movies) — just not downloadable portable movies. A question that remains to be answered, however, is how people will feel about downloading very large movie files? A 4megabyte song is one thing. A 50+megabyte movie is another.

Another question — will the shows be commercial free? I would hope so, as you’re paying $1.99 for them. But perhaps the $1.99 is just a delivery fee — and the commercials are still included?

Having personal access to television shows so soon after their broadcast is the next step in an impending paradigm shift regarding television. It started with TiVo allowing you to watch your favorite shows when its convenient (and without the hassles of VCRs). This is the next step. I doubt television will ever fully move to an on-demand format (people learn about new shows through surfing, of course), but choice for the viewer is always a good thing.

I’ll be interested in seeing how popular this becomes. Will people eat up the chance to watch their favorite shows whenever they want, without TiVo? Or will people scoff at the idea of paying for something they can get for free?

NBC is getting into the sneaky act, reviving an old tactic — right as I’m about to switch channels because the show ended, they flash up a “stay tuned for scenes from the next episode of Law and Order!”

And, of course, like a sucker, I sit through another 90 seconds of commercials to catch those glimpses of the next episode. NBC must love people like me.

I was worried that it might have been a fluke, so I watched a second episode tonight before blogging about it. My verdict? Thumbs up.

I’m not quite sure what it is about the show, but is has a certain Raising Arizona charm to it.

The premise is unique in this reality-television era; Earl Hickey was a criminal who kept having bad things happen to him (he wins the lottery and promptly loses his ticket) but while watching an episode of Carson Daly learns about karma and decides to try to right every wrong he committed. He makes a list and gets after it — and as his behavior improves, his luck improves (he gets back his lottery ticket).

On one level, it’s a simple show with funny scenes that’s well scripted. But on another level, you’re left questioning Earl as a character. At times, he seems like a genuinely good guy that feels remorse for the wrongs he’s committed. At other times, however, he’s comes across as a villain that’s just tired of bad luck.

Right now, the show is early enough that the dichotomy can be ironed out as the character develops. But at some point, the writers will have to begin addressing the issue — is Earl selfish or genuine?

I also enjoy that the show has a good message. Do good things, and good things will happen to you. Does that always hold true in real life? No, probably not. But if you want a brighter world around you, I do feel you have to try to contribute to an overall positivity. “My Name Is Earl” reflects that thinking.

It featured people in various uniforms from “respected” jobs — a doctor, a nurse, a policeman (if my memory serves me) — but each of their uniforms had a McDonald’s nametag. They later revealed that each of those people’s first jobs was working at McDonald’s. It concluded by asking you to show appreciation for the McDonald’s employee.

McDonald’s employees do have a bad rap; they’re often portrayed as being rude, uneducated, and poor. The term “McJob” isn’t a compliment. This spot aimed to try to ease the harshness of the usual portrayal.

I’m curious as to whether there was an incident that caused McDonald’s to decide to spend the money to make such a campaign; I can’t imagine the spot will help sell many Big Macs. Are they having trouble recruiting workers because of the stigma attached to working the drivethrough? I can’t say I’d want to work at McDonald’s, but it’s honest work. At least those people are trying to earn a living, rather than trying to live off handouts.

I just recently got in on the Law & Order craze. On the one hand, I did stave off the addiction for a decade of episodes. The downside to that, of course, is that every single rerun they air on TNT is new to me. On Memorial Day, when they do nothing but show Law & Order all day, I find myself watching for about… all day, or so, without seeing a single episode I had already seen.

What TNT does that’s brilliantly seductive yet trecherous is how they end an episode and immediately go into the next one. As soon as an episode ends, it shows the credits for about two seconds before shrinking them to the bottom of the screen and starting the next episode. Before you’ve had time to stretch and go to the restroom, they’ve already found the body and rolled the intro credits. Then a commercial. No, wait, that’d be humane — after the intro credits, they STILL don’t give you a break, and bring Briscoe and his partner onto the scene. You’re roped in before the first commercial. By the time that first commercial finally does hit, it’s too late. You’re stuck.

I do wish they went in order a bit better — I’d like a little storyline of why characters come and go from the show. I just caught Angie Harmon’s final episode; it was fairly unceremonious. You would think that when an esteemed Highland Park High School alum leaves the show (not that I’m also an alum and thus impartial), they would get more fanfare. A parade, perhaps?

I’m also hooked on all the spinoffs — Special Victims Unit, Trial by Jury, Criminal Intent. SVU is my fav of the bunch. Trial by Jury wears on me a little. I got pissed off during the last episode because I didn’t think the lawyers did that good job. But apparently the actors did, since I got pissed off at them.

I’ve heard the competing CSI is also good. I refuse to watch it — if for no other reason than I don’t really have the time to support another television addiction.

Unless you’ve been hiding out from televisions, you’ve seen the ad — Paris Hilton wears next to nothing, writhes around sexily for a bit, and eats a burger from Carl’s Jr. It’s created a storm of controversy of what’s appropriate and what’s not.

Regardless of whether or not it should be aired, Carl’s Jr. is getting a ton of publicity. Sure, they had to pay a lot for the Vapid One to appear in their commercial, and they’ve had to pay for airtime, but I think they’re getting a bargain, anyway. Personally, I haven’t seen the ad on TV as what it is — an advertisement during a commercial break. I have, however, seen it all over the place on news shows, stills on websites, etc.

All those media outlets picking up and airing the commercial for free are doing Carl’s a favor. Nothing like a firestorm of outrage to get you some attention. Just ask Mark Cuban. And, of course, Paris Hilton is probably glad for just a little more attention (the stopwatch shows 20 minutes… 5 minutes over her allotment…), it’s hard to make money if on your latest TV show you’re just an intern. Everyone knows interns don’t make the big bucks.

So did the advertising campaign make Carl’s money? I’d say, over the long term, yes. Are people that watch TV saying, “whoa… Paris Hilton… hamburger… hmm… I need a Carl’s Jr. right now!”? Not likely. But today at lunch, I was kind of hungry, and wondered whether there was a Carl’s nearby. Went to their website (and was subjected to Paris’s skinny self writhing around some more — complete with an ad touting the DVD-esque “extra footage” version of the ad) to find out; none are nearby. But if there were one nearby, would I have visited? Probably.

Carl’s is clearly not one of “big” fast food restaurants; they’re not a McDonald’s or Burger King or even Sonic or Jack in the Box. But if they want to play on that turf, they have to get into the public consciousness. One way to do it fast is with some free publicity that doesn’t portray their food negatively — in other words, better a controversy about a mostly naked spoiled rich girl than with a string of people finding severed fingers in their food.

So, on Monday and Tuesday, while sick, I surfed the 900 million channels of satellite TV looking for the surprise gem. For example, I was tickled to find “Two Guys and a Girl” (motto: “we dropped the ‘Pizza Place’ part because one show can only write so many plot themes around a pizza parlor”), one of my favorite TV shows that has long since been out of production, being shown on the Women’s Entertainment channel. Little surprises like that keep the world looking bright.

I eventually stumbled on Comedy Central’s newish game show, “Distraction”, complete with a smarmy host with a British accent. The premise is simple and had me intrigued — we’ll ask the contestants really simple questions, but we’ll come up with new and exciting ways to torture them while they answer. Reminds me of the premise of a failed reality quiz-show that came out during the height of the “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” craze wherein they stuck some poor person into like, an oven, and asked them questions while slowly turning up the heat. They even displayed a helpful thermometer in the corner of the screen, to remind you that it was really hot in there. (What was this show called? What station did it air on? Am I making this up? I cannot find any references to it on Google, and I can’t remember a name. Help me out here.)

“Distraction” isn’t nearly as cruel, though. It’s mostly harmless little bits that just distract the contestant a bit. In the episode I watched, the players had to: slap a buzzer that was another player’s butt in order to buzz in (the girl on girl butt slapping was supposed to be titillating, I think, and then we were supposed to watch the guys squirm at having to touch a same-sex butt. Something like that, anyway), answer questions while carefully placing clothespins all over their face (the most clothespins got a bonus; the two guys seemed mostly unphased but the girl was stamping and screaming and generally just making a big fuss over a few dozen clothespins), and then answer questions while stuntmen smashed breakaway chairs and glass objects over their heads (for safety purposes, the participants wore goggles).

The winner got a car, and I felt a little sorry for the losers. But not really. The questions weren’t hard enough to be a source of entertainment, and the distractions were just that — little distractions that weren’t particularly entertaining, either. Just kind of a half-assed show.

1 1/2 stars out of 4.